Nick began a\u00a0new consulting job at the same time that he started his cancer treatments. \u00a0I \u00a0am grateful to his employer for allowing him to take a leave of absence until he is able to work again. I applaud\u00a0Shelly’s employer for doing that as well. But there are \u00a0many of us who don’t or can’t take time off from our jobs, for a variety of reasons.<\/p>\n
I am open about my breast cancer experience. However, \u00a0some parts of it are stored in that closed area \u00a0that the mind creates for self-preservation, because they are too painful to remember, and I won’t\u00a0go there. With that in mind, here is a comparison between Nick’s cancer now and my\u00a0\u00a0cancer then.<\/p>\n
First symptom: Nick found a lump in his neck. I had no lump; mine was found by mammogram. Don’t put off getting one. Seriously.<\/p>\n
Survival: Nick was told\u00a0at the very beginning that his chances for survival were excellent. I was told by the head of the department at Yale that my cancer, which was non-hormone dependent, did not have the positive cure rate\u00a0\u00a0that hormone dependent cancers have. That wasn’t my idea of great starting news!<\/p>\n
Support system upon hearing the “c” \u00a0word: Nick has Shelly. I was the first among my friends and\u00a0family to have breast cancer.<\/p>\n
Having a nine-year-old and a six-year old at home: did not apply for Nick, but was definitely huge for me.<\/p>\n
Fear that our\u00a0children would grow up without their mother: did not\u00a0apply for Nick; \u00a0terrified me.<\/p>\n
Chemo: Nick’s chemo is specifically designed \u00a0to make his radiation more effective. Its side effects are \u00a0an acne-like rash on his face, neck, chest and upper back, and reddened skin that appears sunburned. \u00a0My chemo caused nausea, hair loss, mouth sores, \u00a0 the total disability to even look at, much less eat,\u00a0\u00a0most foods, and severe exhaustion. \u00a0I felt as if a truckload of bricks had been dumped on me. \u00a0 Also, the\u00a0chemo I received\u00a0 ages the ovaries.\u00a0That meant \u00a0the end of fertility and the arrival of fast-tracked menopause. I wasn’t planning to have\u00a0any more children, but I suddenly had to deal with hot flashes, night sweats, and additional \u00a0fatigue concurrently with cancer treatment\u00a0side effects.<\/p>\n
Radiation: Nick’s is specifically aimed at his mouth, especially his tongue. “Losing his sense of taste” doesn’t mean that everything \u00a0has no taste, but rather, that everything tastes horrible. \u00a0His mouth is so sore that putting anything into it causes pain, and his tongue swells so that swallowing is very difficult\u00a0. “The worst sore throat of his life” is here and he still has half of the treatments\u00a0to go. \u00a0My radiation was aimed at my breast. I suffered no side effects from it that I remember, except a blue bra cup. In order to be sure that the \u00a0radiation machine is perfectly aligned to each patient’s body, the\u00a0technicians\u00a0now tattoo a dot in exactly the right place, but \u00a0back then they drew a \u00a0blue grease pencil mark on the\u00a0\u00a0spot \u00a0that smeared all over after each day’s treatment.\u00a0\u00a0By the way, Nick declined the tattoo.<\/p>\n
Extreme shortage of energy: both of us.<\/p>\n
Nausea: None for Nick. I had anti-nausea medication, but I preferred not to take it. I found that instead of preventing nausea, it prevented vomiting. When\u00a0I took the medication I was nauseous for days. No, thanks!<\/p>\n
Hair loss: Dr. P. told us that Nick would lose the hair on\u00a0the back of his neck\u00a0as well as\u00a0his facial hair. Many years ago, I told Nick that I wished I could see his face free of his trademark beard one more time. I never imagined\u00a0that\u00a0my seemingly harmless wish would be fulfilled in such \u00a0drastic way!\u00a0\u00a0I had my hair cut very short and then lost much\u00a0of it, but not all. I have never liked having short hair. Getting haircuts still reminds me of my\u00a0extreme haircut, my hair loss, and the wigs that I did not enjoy wearing.<\/p>\n
Food: Nick’s ability to enjoy food decreased steadily, followed by a rapid decline in his ability to even tolerate it. He is now basically surviving on Boost<\/em>. Yesterday he tried a bite of a banana, but the pain of swallowing it was awful. Later in the day he had some vanilla pudding, and still later, some vanilla ice cream. I’m thrilled when he can get some calories down! \u00a0The only food\u00a0I could eat was cheese. Mozzarella, to be exact. I am the only person I know who gained weight on chemo.<\/p>\n Work: Nick took a leave of absence. I continued to teach \u00a0part-time during my treatments, because \u00a0my wonderful employer, Carole, hired several additional part-time teachers so that I was able to\u00a0work on the days that I felt well enough.<\/p>\n Family meals: I \u00a0did all the food shopping for my family, and I cooked dinner when I could. These days\u00a0it’s very easy to walk into a supermarket and get elements of a healthy \u00a0family dinner that are already prepared, but back then, no such capability existed.\u00a0My wonderful, generous, supportive nursery school colleagues \u00a0did what women do for their friends: they\u00a0brought\u00a0us home-cooked meals. Often, \u00a0especially \u00a0on \u00a0weekends \u00a0after my Friday chemo, my friends took either or both children for dinner, for sleepovers, and even for weekends.<\/p>\n Medications: Nick has clobetasol propionate cream for his skin rash, calendula ointment for his neck redness and incision scar, clindamycin phosphate gel for his face, Crest Pro-Health \u00a0toothpaste for his teeth and a \u00a0pro-sensitive electric toothbrush, Paro-ex alcohol free mouthwash for his mouth, Biotene mouthwash for dry mouth, \u00a0a mixture of lidocaine syrup, Benadryl liquid and Maalox that numbs his\u00a0mouth before he tries to eat anything, flucanazole\u00a0pills for the thrush<\/em> in his mouth,\u00a0 nystatin ointment for the thrush<\/em> on his lips, and hydrocodon-acetaminophen (Vicodin\u2014used by House<\/em>) for pain. He has discovered that distilled water, available by the gallon at CVS, tastes less horrible than tap water. \u00a0As for me, the only medication I remember was \u00a0for nausea prevention. It didn’t, as\u00a0I have already said.<\/p>\n Medical help: Nick is working with an internist, two\u00a0ENT \u00a0doctors, one of whom is a surgeon,\u00a0a medical oncologist, an oncology \u00a0radiologist, an oncology periodontist, an endodontist, a nutritionist, \u00a0and soon, an acupuncturist. I worked with a medical oncologist, an oncology radiologist, a women’s imaging radiologist , \u00a0an oncology surgeon, \u00a0 a gynecologist, and an internist. My internist at that time (not Dr. H!) missed something.\u00a0\u00a0When I switched\u00a0\u00a0internists to Dr. H., he\u00a0discovered that I had osteopenia, the stage of bone density just before osteoporosis. Fortunately, Dr. H. prefers to treat his patients as naturally as possible,\u00a0only prescribing drugs as a last resort. I began\u00a0taking calcium regularly and I started walking through my neighborhood, occasionally at first. Then a\u00a0friend called and asked if I’d like to walk with her. \u00a0We began walking as regularly as we could. I credit our commitment to walking\u00a0with improving my bone\u00a0density\u00a0and my \u00a0health in general.<\/p>\n Gratitude\u00a0that all this pain and suffering\u00a0will, in the long run, extend\u00a0our lives: both of us. I am still here twenty-five\u00a0years later!<\/p>\n A typical week entails driving to the hospital Monday through Friday for radiation and on Thursdays for chemo as well. Nick\u00a0has been able to drive himself to radiation, but \u00a0after chemo and when\u00a0he is on pain medication, I’m doing the driving. \u00a0Often\u00a0there are prescriptions to pick up. Nick\u00a0must have his teeth cleaned by \u00a0his oncology periodontist frequently to avoid infections; that was scheduled\u00a0this week. \u00a0His oncologist recommended acupuncture, and that will begin on Saturday.\u00a0Yes, managing cancer is a full time job for both of us.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Nick began a\u00a0new consulting job at the same time that he started his cancer treatments. \u00a0I \u00a0am grateful to his employer for allowing him to take a leave of absence until he is able to work again. I applaud\u00a0Shelly’s employer for doing that as well. But there are \u00a0many of us who don’t or can’t … Continue reading “Managing cancer is a full time job.”<\/span>